I can't believe you found my Drip. This was supposed to be a private place for friends and loved ones to reimburse me for cab rides. While you're here I will say that my name is Dan Glaser and I am a comedian which is a loaded term that means a lot of things to a lot of people.
What it means to you is that I will be writing a ton of jokes, short stories and essays. Videos too from time to time. You can see more of what I'm all about here: www.danglaser.com.
More importantly to some of you, I will also be producing a ton of episodes of my latest dumbest project to date: Dan Glaser's Movie Podcast: The ONLY Podcast You Have To Read. In each episode I go with a different comedian to see a movie and then we head to the closest coffee shop to chat about it over the internet. As a subscriber you will get early, extra special access to each weekly episode which comes out to something like 100 pages a month. That is a truly wild amount of comedy.
Why am I on Drip?
There are two answers to that. Answer one is that my main thesis these days is that There Is An Appetite For Thoughtful Written Comedy On The Internet. Do people want something more than lists of pop culture things or lists of higher brow pop culture things? Maybe! I think so! I am hopeful that Drip can be a platform that will allow subscribers to answer that question.
The sad, lonely truth of answer two is that life is expensive. Making comedy is expensive. Not always financially (often financially) but always in time and energy. Every 8 hours I spend writing a piece that dares to explore What If Gandalf Wore Heelys is 8 hours spent not earning health insurance. Drip is one way (The only way? No. The best way? Maybe!) that I can try to create exactly what I want directly for those who for some reason want it. I love writing, performing and making Comedy Stuff and I truly believe that "giving it a real shot" is necessary if I'm going to look back on my life before I die and feel like I contributed more than carbon emissions.
I also want to take a moment to thank each and every person who has chosen to be a subscriber. You are the real heroes and I can't help but wonder what I would do without you, besides make branded content for a dying comedy website to afford rent and dog food.
So you want to be a subscriber? Good news, you have a few options:
Casual Danheads AKA The Tiny DANcers ($2 / mo):
This is your basic, mass market, no-frills model. Casual Danheads are people who dig the Dan Glaser vibes and aesthetic but are not looking to commit to a big splashy purchase. I love you Casual Danheads and I appreciate you: no matter what the higher tiers say behind your back.
This is also the tier for people who feel bad for me.
Anti-Danheads AKA The DANTichrists ($3 / mo):
You wonder what my deal is. Get off the internet, you say to yourself to me. I get it. But maybe put your money where your mouth is, pal?
This is the tier for people who hate me.
Serious Danheads AKA The DANgerous Liaisons ($5 / mo):
You're not a kid anymore. You're a grownup subscriber with a grownup job and grownup shoes and grownup tastes. $5 is the Right Amount for you to show that you appreciate the finer things in life. Plus you get more stuff, including superiority over the Casual Danheads. I love you Serious Danheads and I appreciate you: no matter what the higher tiers say behind your back.
This is also the tier for people who feel even more bad for me.
Diamond Danheads AKA The DANimaniacs ($10 / mo):
Are the others gone? Is it just us? Please follow me into the back room. We have ways to accommodate those of our guests with more...demanding appetites. I love you Diamond Danheads and I appreciate you the most. (Other than the next tier up)
This is also the tier for people who feel even worse for me.
The Ultimate Danhead AKA The Freak ($100 / mo):
I DARE YOU.